That Elusive Creativity

I'll admit it. I have a compulsive need to make things. Weird things. I have patterns from the 1950's that, when followed correctly, are maps to creating dresses that are currently out of style. I learned to crochet so that I could make stuffed animals (which I'm not particularly fond of) and ended up creating nose warmers and jellyfish (which do not require stuffing). Not that this makes me different from every other "unique" person in the world because, really, who are we kidding? You're not special. I'm not special. The weirdness that you feel keeps you safe from reality because it creates a bubble of 'you' that no one can pop with their idiosyncrasies, but everyone around you feels the same protective weirdness. This isn't supposed to be a slight against you or anyone else, but it's a fact of life. I mean, I love you. I do! But I can't fool myself into believing for one moment that you and I didn't create some of our habits in order to be different from the people around us. This leads to the feeling that uniqueness is unnatural, which, in turn, is unnerving (but slightly awesome). Out of the habits that we all possess, either self-determined or ingrained from birth, sprout genuinely unique needs for creative thinking and, well, creating. I'm stuck on the idea that school tries to suck the creativity out of everyone's bodies and just doesn't succeed with some stubborn people who are destined to become the authors and musicians and artist of the world. For a while, I lost my creativity. It just went AWOL subtly and I didn't notice it until I began to feel weird, like I was missing an arm. [I'm happy to report that it returned after a very short period of time and is attempting to take over my body]. At any rate, everyone creates something; some people just create problems, but doesn't that require some sort of brain power? If you're not making anything, it's time to see what you can do because I'm feeling a serious lack of the stuff that keeps us mentally and emotionally alive. And honestly, I'm probably writing this to myself. I used to build houses for my Polly Pockets out of shoeboxes and tinfoil and cover the entire house in drawings of everything, all while wearing a 'twirly dress' and stockings. Maybe I need to be reminded that the dress with the full skirt in my closet is currently being neglected. Maybe I need to spin around in it a couple of times and make something cute with my crocheting skills that I can take to those kids I babysit. I think it's time for me to take up French again, just because I love it, and to lose the inhibitions that have caused me to develop anxiety disorder at seventeen. Creativity is a gift, and I've been so blessed in every aspect of my life so far that it's time for me to share the creativity that I can harness with others who have lost that special feeling that you get from acts of random kindness. In conclusion, I can't tell if this post is disjointed or just creative. ;)